April 15, 2013

To Wee Or Not To Wee

The only problem with all this undie-wearing business is the wedgies . . .
And so we come to the most interesting of toddler milestones (if your definition of 'interesting' includes potential disaster, frequent embarrassment and involves poo in places other than a loo) . . . . toilet training.

Once again, because of the seven year age gap between my children, I have blocked out forgotten what we did when it came to toilet training Jack. I seem to remember there was The Day Of The Ten Wet Underpants which led to the The Month Of Pretending It Will Go Away. But inevitably, he got toilet trained and, at nearly ten years of age, seems to be managing quite well (apart from the apparently hilarious pastime of farting in confined spaces).

Francesca was very keen to start sitting on the toilet last year before her second birthday because she wanted to copy her little friend Piper who is six months older. There was plenty of enthusiastic toilet-sitting but zero actual wee action. Nevertheless, we set up a potty in the corner and, because it was summer and her preferred outfit was a pair of gumboots only, she would take herself off to the potty periodically without the complication of, y'know, clothing to unbutton, unclasp, unzip, pull down.

Her first actual wee on the potty was met by thunderous applause from the whole family and of course, standing ovations were compulsory for every wee on the potty for quite some time thereafter.

However, in the manner of many busy working women who barely have the energy for rotating the cap off a wine bottle (how on earth did we cope with the whole corkscrew business!?), taking a toddler out with only a thin layer of cotton between her unpredictable bottom and the many flooring surfaces of the outside world was all too hard. I decided we would go commando at home and wear nappies whilst out and about.

This is what I like to call the Magical Toilet Training Breakthrough Formula (as opposed to the Lazy Parent Hit & Miss Approach). When the number of times the toddler successfully does a wee on the toilet, exceeds the number of accidents, they are ready to face the outside world.

And so it came to pass. Toilet training - tick. And thank God for that.

Francesca has been in Big Girl Undies for two months. I feel it's now safe to block out the memory of another milestone and continue coping with day to day life, including the unscrewing of wine caps which will now be deserving of my full focus.

Next stop? Big Girl Bed. But that bus won't be coming along for quite some time. I'm not ready to allow a 2 year old full access to the entire house at all hours. That would require more wine than I am currently capable of unscrewing.

I'd love to hear your 'wee' stories. Are you in the middle of toilet training? Been there done that? Or just in the process of screwing up the courage? Share!

Postscript 29 April:
Now I need some advice too. Number ones on the toilet? No problems. But doing number twos is apparently very very scary and the one time we did it, we cried the whole way through. One could be forgiven for thinking that releasing that poo into the toilet was the equivalent of handing over one's first born son to King Herod! I've heard this is common but I've also heard of four year olds who 'hang on' till they get a nappy on and, oh Lord, save me from a constipated child who can build an entire virtual city in Minecraft but can't take a crap on a toilet. Tips and tricks required please.

The Wedgie - it's all about wearing it with attitude. There's a lesson in that for all of us I think . . .


  1. We have also been dipping our toe in the scary waters that is toilet training.

    We have pretty much mastered it at home but this does involve Miss E being nudie rudie and more often then not she dashes outside to the grass.

    Toilet training away from home just seems too hard tight now. Hoping it will just magically happen like getting teeth

    1. Don't they love doing it on the grass?! Hilarious. But I actually think it does sort of magically happen - you're giving her the opportunities at home so it will just flow on. Surely! The going out thing is definitely an effort mentally. For the parents I mean. I remember going to lunch with Francesca in undies and asking her every ten minutes if she needed to go, but when she DID need to go, she gave me 10 seconds notice! I just found it too mentally exhausting. And I don't have a newborn like you!! So yes, wait for the magic to happen. As people keep telling me, nobody starts school in nappies!

  2. I'd love to give you some sage advice from an older person, but there is nothing I can remember of that time, just relief when the objective was achieved.

    1. I know Clare! Isn't it funny how we just block this stuff out after awhile. Although I do remember Grandma putting Ben on the potty every morning after breakfast; he had to stay there till he'd done something. Perhaps there's merit in using the old school methods . . .

  3. Occasionally Alexander still saves his no 2 for when the sleep nappy goes on... I wish he could have done that on one particular day when we were at an indoor playground with little bro just having used the very last of the nappies... Instead we had no nappy bags, no change of clothes either, only a highly embarrassed mum with a baby on the hip and a toddler on the other hip with pants full of poo, legs full of poo and poo 'dripping' onto the floor (carpet, did I mention) every time he took a step before I got a chance to pick him up and instead have him smear it onto my blouse and arm (all the while thinking 'just get us out of here') Urgh. Anyway, you wanted tips and tricks? First time he was on the toilet I just encouraged him to fart and plop! There it was. No biggie apparently.

    1. Oh Suz, I'm so sorry to hear that but to be honest that is a hilarious story and I'm sure you'll laugh at it one day ;) Thank you for sharing xx

  4. Grandma is on her way! Hopefully Cesca will want to impress G'ma with her toilet skills. Or should G'ma wave her magic wand to help? I'm sure that is the only way to accomplish toilet training.


I love hearing from you (and by the way, you're looking lovely today) x

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...