Now listen here 2011, stop right there. You've galloped ahead to January 21 and I haven't even formed a resolution, let alone started breaking one!
First things first, I didn't like the way you started the year with the news that both my uncle and my mother-in-law have cancer. However you have the opportunity to redeem yourself by ensuring that their treatments are successful and they make a full recovery. And don't be stingy with the pain relief!
Apart from that, I have great expectations of you. I was particularly impressed with the way 2010 fulfilled my resolution to conceive and give birth to a healthy baby girl. Surely you won't have any trouble delivering the million dollars I need by the end of the year. (And don't think you can compete with 2010 by bringing me another baby, conceived naturally, of course, after years of trying and a gazillion dollars on IVF! That will cause a bit of a problem between you, me and your mate Murphy. Give one to Emily Jade O'Keefe instead. Pretty please.)
Y'know, as we creep ahead to 2015, I see that we're really no closer to the whole flying car, hover board and talking house thing promised in Back To The Future II. But, like Marty McFly, clothes that shrink or expand to fit the wearer is something I definitely think you should be working on. There are some women (no one in particular) who've just had babies that would love to fit into their size 10 jeans by winter. Just saying.
So anyway, I've decided not to form any resolutions but to simply demand a few things of you. Here are the things I would like this year:
- The continuing health of all my family and friends
- Five extra hours in every day
- A fast rebuild and recovery for all the flood victims and no argy-bargy with their insurance!
- A sensational year in business with our fabulous new biz partners
- A lovely firm C cup, even when I've finished breastfeeding
- For Jack to have ten and a bit happy months in Year 2 and for Francesca to realise the value of a 3 hour daytime sleep
- The gift of hindsight BEFORE I make stupid decisions (the lavender gypsy top with the white a-line skirt was always gonna make me look like a fat cupcake!)
- A wife (preferably with her own Le Creuset set, a collection of Manolos and a size 8 foot)
- And don't forget that million dollars (I know it sounds like a lot but have you seen the price of real estate on the northern beaches lately??)
- Oh yes, and world peace.
- Bubble-bursters, naysayers and meanies, especially those in the guise of 'friends'
- Bad wine and coffee. If I can only have one glass/cup of something, it's got to be a mighty fine drop.
So how about you? What's on your list of things you want or would like to achieve this year?
P.S. Sending love and warm huggles to Emily Jade who is having an unwanted tenant evicted from her uterus today. Here's to 'more room at the inn' :)
PPS. A big hello to new visitors who've found your way here from Emily Everywhere (which, by the way, is a wonderful, funny and engaging blog written by a Brissy goddess). Lovely to meet you!